We’re in the middle of the second national ‘lockdown’. Life has not been normal for 8 months now. Fear is all around us. This is having a profound effect on all of us – and this has been very much reflected in my client work this week. I’ve been doing a lot of emotional support work. Here’s just one example of a client session this week:
Client T has been seeing me remotely (via video link) for six months – this was her 6th session. We began working together on her gut health – digestive symptoms. Since then, we’ve touched on self-esteem, sleep, work and family stresses and various nutritional supports. T began this session by saying her digestion had been a bit off again and that she wanted a general check up. As we talked, she revealed an emotional issue with food which went back to her teens. She said that the Covid situation had ‘hit’ her. She isn’t fearful for herself or her family but feels out of control. And the way she has always gained control is by controlling her food intake and/or going to the gym (which is currently shut). I could use a label – anorexia, an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, etc – but the fact is every client I’ve met with food issues is totally unique and individual. It’s usually about having control when they feel out of control … and there’s usually emotional trauma – usually someone else has been in or taken control. I believe the way I can help is to help them see where, when, how and why they developed this control mechanism. And then support them with whatever tools show as helpful.
T said she was ready to work on this for the first time in her life. She’s 30. She said she’s “sick of it controlling me, not me it”. She wants change. She gets physical digestive symptoms which feel like she’s not able to digest. She feels fat, frumpy, lethargic, achey and gets constipated – which makes her feel really upset. She constantly questions what she’s eating and never eats the same as her husband and kids, even though all their meals are home-cooked and nutritious. She makes herself something separate – which is lower in calories.
I asked her how she wanted to feel. She said “relaxed and happy” while eating. She wants to be able to cook and bake with her children and then sit down to eat the meal with them. She said it’s all about not putting on weight and that she couldn’t look at herself in the mirror if she ate the family food. I asked what she sees and how she feels when she looks in the mirror. She said she doesn’t look – especially without clothes – it makes her feel uncomfortable, nauseous. She said she wants to chop bits off – so “they all fit”.
I asked when she first became aware of these feelings. She thought it was at the start of secondary school. She was much taller than everyone else in school at that age – she had developed faster. Then she remembered being in a play aged a bit younger – around 10 or 11. In the photos, she said she looked twice the size of the other children. Also, T has an older sister who she looked up to very much. She was very slim and a very picky eater. She wouldn’t eat family meals. So already we could see some of the possible explanations.
We had done a lot of talking and it seemed we had got as far as we could with T’s conscious mind – her memories had dried up. So I started my remote kinesiology work. I do this by tuning into the client’s energy and muscle-testing myself. Unsurprisingly, emotions showed as the emergency. I’d recently discovered The Emotion Code work by Bradley Nelson. I’ve been combining it with a list of words created by Sue Morgan (Baseline Energy Responses). BERs relate to energy disturbances registered in the body which are created the first time something happens and which have created an unconscious pattern of reaction which is repeated whenever we have a similar experience. They’re ideal for trauma release work.
The BER word which tested up was “safe”. I went back in age from T’s current age and age 7 tested as relevant. Because of what she had told me about being bigger than her classmates, I tested if ‘school’ was relevant and it was. I then looked for what support was needed and it was the Australian Bush Flower Essence Waratah. This is the emergency essence – for ‘the dark night of the soul’ situations. None of this made sense to me. I tested whether it was okay to tell T what had come up and it was. She immediately put it all together. She loved her school and her teacher when she was 7. It was her safe place. Because home wasn’t safe. Her dad was an alcoholic and at that time was drinking a litre of whisky a day. T said that she answered him back, unlike her mum and sister. This provoked him and the lowest point was when he held her to a wall by her neck. He almost throttled her. She went to school to feel safe. I took some of the essence and we both held ’emotional stress release’ points. I felt waves of emotion going through me. T sighed, cried and yawned for some time. When she settled, I carried on my testing.
I tested T saying “I am safe” and got a weak response. I tested for support and a Rainbow Essence – Healing was wanted – it was perfect, as T is also a therapist. The relevant meridian was Stomach. I took some of the essence and T and I held our lower heart area while she repeated “I am safe” over and over again. I suggested she see herself as that 7 year old. I prompted her to hold the 7 year old (she told me afterwards that she had already been doing that – and that she had seen herself age 11 too) and to tell her that she’s safe and that everything turned out so well. To show her that she’s now 30, got her own family and really fulfilling work which she loves. That she has an adoring husband and a close relationship with her parents. She is safe.
When T settled, we finished by tapping the beginning of the Stomach meridian and repeating “I am safe”. I tested if anything else was needed – it wasn’t. The Healing essence needed to be taken so I posted T a dosage bottle. I suggested she do the tapping and say the affirmation regularly.